I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
