it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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