She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
