I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
it's like iHOP with fire
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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