Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
