She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
