I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
