absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
