This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
