Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.

Fav 36 1896 4446
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(303): View more from Colorado

He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!

Fav 27 9713 4569
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(425): View more from Washington

couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school

Fav 36 6961 1880
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.

Fav 1 695 1624
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(419): View more from Ohio

I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.

Fav 6 1897 1121
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.

Fav 6 2176 824
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(469): View more from Texas

I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.

Fav 7 704 1023
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(315): View more from New York

He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him

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