You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
