if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
