help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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