i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
