Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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