sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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