He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Randomize
