the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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