good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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