It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
