Nicole vs. Life
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
