I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
