What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
