Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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