I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
