You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
