Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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