last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Congratulations! We have a period
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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