i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
