drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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