She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
