Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
