Small penises have feelings too.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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