dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
