Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I love having hate sex.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Of course I have a pirate flag
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
