end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
