no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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