He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
