fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
