At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Still dying that you shit outside
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
