my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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