But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
