I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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