i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
