Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
