fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
