you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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