on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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