I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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