If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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